William

His name was William, like the young prince, but his hair was a dark brown instead of blonde, his eyes were grey and his skin was riddled with freckles. He was 9. A girl in the same class, lets call her Emily (because honestly, I do not remember any other names except for his) had already called dibs on William. Apparently they were a couple and they will stay a couple till they finish school, get married and have perfect little babies like they were. Emily with her big brown eyes, soft curls, perfect little nose and skin so white she would make the ideal snow white.

I was... Well I was not them. I was not white, that bit was obvious. I was yellow, a hideous shade of it if you ask me, and my complexion was blotchy. Even at 9, I was impossibly aware of my looks and how different it was from the others. I hated my skin color and I hated my jet black hair that was so straight and so dark, it was an attraction of its own. I wanted to have skin that would turn pink in the cold and not flake like mine did. I wanted hair that had natural highlights and curls and bounce... not this home-cut straight as an arrow, unmoving thing on my head. And my eyes... They kept calling me Chinese, Japanese because of the slits I had as eyes and for a girl who wanted so bad to fit in, it was no compliment.

Hunts Cross Primary, Liverpool. A majority of the school were white kids who have never heard of the country I came from. They just assumed I came from China because for them, tere was no difference. The place was tucked away in the suburbs, far from the usual haunts of us Asians. If my memories are correct, ours was the only Asian family on the street and my mother the only woman in a head-scarf. I could not have fitted in even if I tried.

Our class had this one girl I will never ever forget. She was a giant. Bigger and more stocky than everyone else. She stood a head taller than the rest of the class and that meant she was twice my size. She was the only blonde in the class which I thought was strange because I was under the impression that all whites were blonde and blondes were pretty. She was not. Her skin was pink but not in a flattering way. She was angry all the time and I never understood why. I remember her crying after a parent told her off for bullying and I thought she was not so bad. The girl can cry, she cannot be a monster.

So one day, optimistic little me decided to share a secret with her. I thought it would create a bond between us. I suppose my intentions were not so sincere because I needed her to feel protected. Maybe, if she was my friend, others would no longer be making fun of my plastic hair and tiny eyes and over all ugly exterior.

"I have a secret," I said.
"Yeah? What?" she asked. I should have seen the evil glimmer in her eyes. I should have known they were not out of joy that I was sharing something special with her.
"Promise you won't tell anyone?" said naive little me.
"Sure,"
And just like that, I told her "I think I like William?"
"What? Who? Our Willie?"
"Yes. I like him"
"You like Willie? Emily's boyfriend?"
I started to tell her what William had told me once. He told me that he and Emily were just friends. He told me that he and Emily grew up together so they were like brothers and sisters... But just as I opened my mouth Miss Pork Face (because that is her name to me now) burst out in laughter.
"Hey Emily!" she cried out and like a sick slow motion picture I remember jumping in front of Pork Face trying hard to cover her mouth. Emily turned around looking exasperated as only pretty, popular girls could afford looking and said "What?" with a hint of annoyance.
"The new girl. She likes your boyfriend! Oh hey Willie! The new girl likes you!"
Emily raised her eyebrow and again I thought, how does she do that and still look pretty? She then flipped her hair (pretty, pretty hair) and continued talking to her band of beautiful 9 year olds.
I then looked at William. He had turned away too but his face was bright red. The boys around him were laughing. They were laughing at him because I liked him. An ugly girl liked him and what was more laughable than that? I could not bear the humiliation and for the first time I screamed...
"Liar! Pork Face is a liar!" I shouted.
Pork Face stopped laughing and came straight at me.
"What?"
"Liar! Liar! Liar! Why do you always lie?"
"No I'm not! You told me yourself. You like Willie. I heard you,"
"Liar! Why are you bullying me?" I started crying. "Why are you always so mean?"
A few girls came up to me and formed a circle around me. "Pork Face, look what you've done!" said one. "Are you proud of yourself?" said another. Then a miracle of all miracles happened. Emily walked up to me, put a hand around my shoulder and said "It's OK. I don't believe her anyway... You don't like my William do you? I mean, like like my William do you?"
I shook my head. "No. Of course not"
"Good, lets go talk to Willie then,"
"No, it's OK,"
"Oh come on... It will be OK... Hey Willie... come here,"
From across the room I saw William shaking his head. The boys near him were pushing him towards us, taunting and laughing but he stood firm.
"It's OK Willie, she doesn't like like you." Emily shouted just enough for everyone to hear before turning at me "Right?" I nodded like mad and stole a glance at William hoping for a look of approval.
He did not look up.
He did not say a word.
"Aww...Willie is just mad at his friends for laughing. He'll be OK. I will talk to him after school," Emily assured me.
I tried to smile and managed a weak one. Emily was on my side. Nobody believed Pork Face. I should be happy, shouldn't I?
And I see William in a corner, still quiet...his head still bowed low...and I thought to myself, 'what have I done?'